Thursday, November 15, 2007

7 HEADLESS GOATS FOUND ON LAGUNA BEACH-- TOWN BLAMES TITUBA

In what may be our first sign of apocalyptic cosmic justice being dolled out locally, 7 decapitated goats, several headless chickens, roosters, and doves have been found on Laguna Beach. You’d be pretty hard pressed to find a religion that considers that a good sign.

Could it be that OC residents have gotten so conspicuous with their consumption that they actually import Haitian maids from the East Coast, instead of the overwhelmingly bourgeois Mexican cleaning ladies the fairly rich have to settle for on the West coast?

Or is Voodoo the new Kabbalah?

“I’m a really spiritual person, and cutting off a goat’s head just makes me feel so chill with god. In fact, my priestess says I’m so spiritual, I should be combating zombies soon. My life's never been so balanced.”

Or maybe it's just the Laguna teens playing a little Buzkashi...
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAT!!!"

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