Tuesday, November 6, 2007


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Disney World has closed the “It’s a Small World After All” ride for repairs to adjust to America's increasingly fat ass. The boats are sinking too deep in the canal and getting stuck. It’s not often engineers get to laugh that hard at work, even at Disney. Unfortunately, some day historians exploring the fall of the American empire will enjoy that same laugh.

The Average American now weighs 25 lbs more than he did in 1964 when the ride was built. That means each American is now carrying around an additional 100 Quarter Pounders with Cheese every day.
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People often say Americans are gaining weight because we are less active. I’ll buy that for the kids and their video games, but not adults. By the early 60’s we were a car culture-- we did everything in our cars.
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Adults didn’t play sports or exercise—they smoked as a hobby and pastime. No one went to the gym and no one road their bikes to work or swam to dinner in 1964. Hell, jogging hadn’t even been invented yet. That’s right, no one had even figured how to run at a moderate pace in ’64.

We’re fat because the food we eat, isn’t really food. McDonald is advertising their new burgers with “Beefier Beefieness” Both words imply the absence of actual beef.

1 comment:

tommyjames said...

It's a Fat World After All ~ lyrics by Tommy James

It's a world of burgers,
A world of fries,
It's a world of ice cream,
And a world of fudge,
There's so much crap we eat,
Our asses don't fit the seats,
It's a fat world after all