Thursday, November 15, 2007

HO HO HUH?

"Hey, this vodka tastes like kid!"

Australian authorities have advised mall Santa’s not to say “ho, ho, ho” this year because it may be considered offensive to women. That’s right, the war on Christmas has gone international. What’s next, Santa can’t drop the N-bomb?

In addition to apparently being offensive to women, Aussies claim that saying “ho ho ho” may scare children, so they suggest Santas say “Ha Ha Ha” instead. As if changing the vowel that follows “H” will make sitting on the semi-erect lap of a greasy, career drunk who sleeps in the food court and smells like a Waffle House ash tray less scary.

The juxtaposition of optimism and defeat here is fucking great.

I' m concerned that he has the kid at a second location.

Look, if you’re going to bad-touch kids and bounce them on your lap, you have to shell out for a decent costume. That’s just the rule man.

If you combine mall Santa's and Catholic priests, there real are a lot of people using the virgin birth of the Son of God to fuck children. Fascinating.

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