Monday, November 19, 2007

I <3 BARRY BONDS!!!

"I'm gon' kill you, camera."

I used to hate Barry Bonds-- not just because he’s taking steroids and there for breaking records by cheating, but because he kept saying he was clean when it’s so damn obvious he was juicing. No one gains 50 pounds of muscle at 39, and fuck you for thinking I would buy that load of shit. That’s insulting.

But now that Bonds has been indicted for perjury, he’s my new hero. Congress spends all damn day forcing completely unbelievable lies down our throat, and Bonds had the balls to look them in the eye and do the exact same thing.

He sat there, muscle bound and obviously too large for the furniture, with a body four times the size of the fattest Senator and a voice clearly trembling with ‘roid rage, and said “No, no I have never taken steroids.” Bravo, Barroid! That’s awfully big balls for a man with shrunken and shriveled testicles.

Who says, “you can’t lie to congress..?” Fuck you, everyone lies to/in/about Congress.

Barry Bonds, 2004.

Barry Bonds, 1999

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