Wednesday, November 14, 2007

WRITE IN JESUS!

"Wait a second, he comes back from the dead?!?"

The US Conference of Catholic Bishops just announced that your voting record will effect your eternal salvation. Damn you prop 281-D! I knew voting to fund that recycling program with surplus community funds from the previous fiscal year would come back to haunt me!

Basically what they're saying is if you vote for a pro-choice candidate, you will go to hell. Here's the pickle- it looks like Giuliani will get the GOP nomination, but he's pro-choice and so are all the democratic front-runners, which means we'll have two pro-choice candidates running for president. So that means everyone will go to hell... at least you chumps who vote.

"If they keep having abortions, we'll run out of loosely parented kids to molest."

The men behind St. Mary's 2003 12-and-under division champion basketball team.

"Two knuckles deep, and he was only 9. Those were the days..."

Upstairs, heaven. Downstairs, hell.

1 comment:

Scott said...

"2 knuckles deep..."

comedy gold, or at least gold-plated