Thursday, December 20, 2007

ILLEGITAMATE KIDS INCORPORATED

At least now I know the difference between her and Hannah Montana.


In the fallout fallowing Jamie Lynn Spears getting knocked up at 16, Nickelodeon is considering doing a show about teen pregnancy. The only problem is they can’t put her on it, because once you decide you’re keeping a baby, you have to act like it’s the greatest thing that ever happened to you, not a horrible mistake resulting from painfully awkward country fried statutory rape that may or may not fall into the legal buffer zone depending on which county she was mounted in.

The first magazine interview she does, she’ll say teenage girls need to be responsible and not get pregnant. Then the right next to that, in big bold, pink letters, a giant pulled-out quote will say “This little bald kitten is the best thing that ever happened to me. He’s a blessing from God, y’all.” Preemie teen babies are going to be the next Cabbage Patch kids.

If Hannah Montana gets knocked up now, the breeding patterns of this country will forever be changed.

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