Monday, February 25, 2008


"I swear to you, Miguel, if we reach dry land, I'm going to mow the fuck out of that grass."

26 Cubans landed in Florida and will be allowed to stay in America because of our “wet foot- dry foot” policy, which means if you step foot on dry land before the Coast Guard catches you, you can stay. America’s like a cupcake, once you lick it, it’s yours.

However, if you get caught in the water, you have to go back. Like this guy who made a working boat out of this old Plymouth. The gas and break peddles work, and the steering wheel steers to boat. All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was a boat-car. You could drive across a lake, or you could drive to the beach and keep going to Portugal.

These guys know how to make boat-cars, and we keep catching them and sending them back to Cuba. Meanwhile, Detroit is sinking like a hemophiliac manatee under a water skiing contest.

Not only should we let these guys come to America, we should give them jobs at GM.

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