Tuesday, February 26, 2008

PHLOG: IT'S THE ECONOMY, SHITHEAD

I don’t care how broke you are, you should always be weary of a hotdog that’s on sale.

Yeah, it’s great, but the pill costs twenty grand and they disembowel you with the finance charges.

“It’s eating me alive. I haven’t paid the bill for this cell phone since 1998.”

They’re like lottery tickets with a penalty for losing.

"And this line here is the percentage of you who have paid tuition as our managing debt class has progressed."

Lesson in life: never bank at a place with a neon sign. Period.

“No, Ali, it’s great, you make them ring up their own purchase, and charge them for the service. It’s win-win my friend! It’s even better than selling loose cigarettes!”

“… and we can crush you.”

Bid today, and we’ll throw in their children’s trophies!

“Look, here’s the deal, if I don’t sale this house, some other lady’s gonna be standing in my yard doing the exact same thing.”

USA Mortgage Brokers, October 2006.
Unemployment Insurance Advocates, February 2008

“Wow, it’s like looking at a wall of broken dreams.”
“I know, this should totally be in a museum. It’s like Grand Central Station after 9/11.”

Some really rich guy should buy the entire suburb and rule it like a monarchy.

"Just keep spending through January 2009, and everything will be just fine."

“I should have learned how to read this thing a long time ago.”

You know the economy’s not going well when it’s a briefcase full of 10’s.

“Fuck your car payments. I want to go to college.”

“Independent contractor my ass. I’ve worked there seven years, overtime every damn day with no extra pay. Had to take out a third fucking mortgage and still can’t afford health insurance for my autistic kids. Fuck the man. What’s for dinner, kids?”

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