Tuesday, March 25, 2008

HOLY JOLIE PHLOG!

If Angelina really wanted to bring about change through the UN, she’d realize those lips weren’t made for talkin’…
To draw attention to the plight of women in Africa, Angelina has forgone feminine hygiene products.

Come on, honey.”
“No, wait, there’s still an emptiness that needs to be filled by having my picture taken.”
“No, you gotta squint your eyes more, we’re doing number 3- concerned we may need to be somewhere more important. That’s it.”

Angelina unknowingly cosigns Frank's third mortgage.

“Tonight when we fuck, how about you not call me “Dad” or “Jon” for a change?”

“Mr. Voight will do as he’s told.”

“Well, I rode you, I guess it’s only fair…”

Worse than the horse.

“Someday I’ll show them. I’m gonna stop doin’ blow and adopt like fifty fuckin’ kids. Then Dad’ll love me.”
“And these two represent the genetic kidney maladies of the Maori.”

“And this one represents how emotionally fucked up I am. Rorrrrr!”

“Okay, I need you to look sad now. Go to a dark place, think of something from your past… that’s it. Wow! Okay... we may need a little less dark place.”

“At first I was content with how envious of us people were in America, but you’re right this is way better.”

“This is going to be the best film adaptation of Othello ever. And they thought Salma Hayek got involved in Frida. I’m adopting the whole fucking cast.”

“All right, we’ve got United Colors of Benetton. Now let’s work on an Abercrombie.”

Whatever happened to the good ol’ days, when you went to a foreign country to get rid of a baby?

Half of Nike’s product line is on back order from labor shortages.
“Fuck you, make your own sneakers.”

“I know you’re only two, but you should really consider adopting a foreign baby.”
“Just hold the ice cream out, and when one comes, I’ll grab it real quick.”

“I don’t know if we want this one. It stopped moving.”

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt: the first baby ever born with dick sucking lips.

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