Thursday, March 13, 2008

SPITZER'S HOOKER PHLOGGED

To all the guys in New York who have been snubbed by this woman at a bar, you were right, she is a whore.

I’m an “escort.

Turns out actual whores don’t have whorey myspace pictures.

I hate to think where that fingers been.

Deny.

I wouldn’t have guessed she’d grow up to be a hooker, but it seems more likely than an R&B star.

You’re probably wondering who else an elite agency like “explore talent” represents…

Yeah, they're bigshots.

It’s hard to enjoy the pleasures of yacht life when any minute you could turn around and find saggy old man balls on your shoulder.

Those glass aren’t just fashionable, they’re a tool of the trade.

Jesus, no wonder he’s spent almost $100,000 on hookers.

“Carry the three, plus anal, comes to $10,300.”

Tired hooker worked too hard.

The press has some serious balls to ask this guy about his sister being a whore.

“Not the biggest clit I’ve ever seen, but still…”

“Then you take the wiffle ball bat, the big red one, not the long yellow one, and shove it way up in me. How much is that?”

“Maybe if someone had been more adventurous and open to new ideas…”

Silda Wall Spitzer look exhausted, but not in any way surprised.

If they knew the shit I found on your laptop…

“Look, Honey I appreciate your support, but even I don’t know why you’re still here. I’m gonna go grab an eight ball and some hookers. You gonna stay here?”

“Mmmm… hookers!”

“Don’t touch me, Herpes Handsandcock.”

Some 23 year-old tennis pro is about to get the fuck of a lifetime.

“That’s a nice looking SUV. Can I pay to fuck it?”

There’s not enough hired help in the world to carry the baggage these girls will have.

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