Tuesday, March 25, 2008

STOP LOSS PHLOG

“Thanks for volunteering. Here’s your AK-47 and a ball cap. What did you say your name was again? Ah, forget it, just take the gun and hat."

Thanks so much for helping out, sorry we couldn’t get you some effective camo. If you don't get killed or turn against us in a few days maybe something will open up."

The only division of the Iraqi military not plagued with recruiting problems is the dance corps.

"Sure I'm an Iraqi soldier. I'm, um, from, um, Detroit, Iraq. Um, I'm just so, um happy and um, proud of my um home."

Me llamo Jose, esta de Iraq, tambien."

Is that a picture of Lou Dobbs, and is this his army?

I might not be okay.”

This Iraqi woman could get killed for so many reasons right now

Was this done by the most talented artist in Najaf, or was it just some bureaucratic bullshit and somebody’s cousin did it? Cause it looks like shit.

Sadly, Aseel would live the next several years of her life thinking her father was a shoddily reinforced US Army Hummer.

Are they grieving for the nation of Iraq, or is there a body under that flag?

Guilty.

Innocent.

What the fuck am I suppose to do if I go home? Go back to selling shoes? God damn it, I'll kill a fuckin Reebok.”

“Hey Jim, hold up, the photographer’s taking a really sweet picture of us.”

“You’re not goin’ to believe this. It looks like Paris Hilton in there blowin some guy.”
“God damn it! It’s just your fucking goggles man! Same as last time.
"
“Dude, stop it, I can hear you breathing. Over.”

“and then I said, ‘Yeah honey, that’s it, I did join the army just so our kids could grow up without a father. In fact, I’m having so much god damned fun here that the army discharged my months ago, and I’m just stayin’ here for shits and giggles.’ God damn it. I hope she’s not fat when I get home.”

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