Thursday, April 10, 2008


“I can’t believe you made out with Johnny! I’m gonna bust your fuckin’ tit, bitch!”

The media is going crazy over the latest internet trend of teenage girls beating the ever living shit out of each other on youtube. Calling the incidents “fights” is a bit inaccurate considering it’s usually a gang of rabid of girls goinmeth-head on one unsuspecting hussy who smiled at the wrong boy in geometry class when he asked if she "wanted his protractor."

I get why teenage girls become whores—daddy issues. But I just can’t figure out what it is about the process of a person becoming ready to bare a child that makes her beat a classmate till her internal organs get their first period. For now I’ll just blame a combination of beef hormones, high fructose corn syrup, and too much ritalin.

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