Wednesday, April 23, 2008

CLINTON AND OBAMA PHLOG #813

If she wins, will she stop pointing after the campaign is over? Or is that just how she enters rooms now?

What do the people she points at do? Do they point back? Or do they just freeze up awkwardly?

Forty years ago, that wave would have elicited this response: “Shit, put your books in that chair and your sandwich on the table here—make it look like someone’s sitting there.”

“Mrs. Clinton you just won the 1908 Pennsylvania primary.”
“Mmm, Bravo. Bravo.”

Here’s the deal, Hillary Clinton is horribly afraid of old people and completely uncomfortable around them, but she still gets their vote because they’re racist.

...and she smells familiar.

Barak Hussein Obama’s barber is a terrorist. Hillary Clinton has 17 patriots construct her hair.

“Excuse me ma’am, I was wondering if you could tell me which one of these candidates is the terrorist negro?”

Mostly old people and women like Hillary. We’ve marginalized them for years. Why stop now?

I can’t tell if Obama really looks that much more presidential than Hillary, or if the AP photographers just hate her. Probably both.

Hillary’s little sister has opted not to have any facelifts or botox but still loves her.

“The Hill loves you, baby.”

Americans bend over and take it in yet another election.

Is Obama campaigning at a crime scene? That’s not gonna play well on Fox News.

It’s time for “Got Milk?” slogan derivatives to fucking stop. You’re ripping off the national dairy council’s ad campaign from 1993. Put a little effort into life.

Getting endorsed by John Mellencamp in Indiana is like having Jesus put your sign in his yard in South Carolina.

We can all relax, because supporters of Hillary Clinton, like that girl with the glasses, don’t often reproduce-- though they do adopt, but I don't know if foreign babies can vote.

A man who brings boxing gloves to a Hillary Clinton rally is gay. It’s an odd equation, but always true.

2:1 odds that old man pees in the voting booth. I can’t wait till I can get away with that shit.

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