Tuesday, April 15, 2008


A few generations ago, the Pope would have considered flying witchcraft, but he's still a valuable source on the subject of stem cell research, birth control, and gay rights.

“In the unlikely event of an emergency landing, don’t come cryin’ to me. I got my own peace to make with God.”

And that’s just for the Pope’s luggage.

Get a room!

These guys...

...say this is wrong.

“…and then we flew over the ocean VVVRROOOOOOMMM!!!”

Only clowns and whores wear red shoes. You call this one.

“Don’t be so nervous about all the people you’ve killed. I was in the Hitler youth, you know.”

The Pope enters a room like Arsenio Hall.

I’ve heard about people behind the scenes pulling the strings, but I always thought it was a figurative expression.

Newt Gingrich takes his second wife’s photo with a cut-out of the Pope, because he deserted his first wife while she was on her deathbed for this one.

I’m no PR expert, but I’m pretty sure the Pope doesn’t need fliers.

“This needs to be perfect. You don’t want to see an angry German Pope.”

“How much for the graven image?”

“But Moooom, I’ll get my ass kicked.”

“Which one’s most likely to get me into heaven?”

In case your child’s not an honor student.

These are the Knights of Columbus. I’m not putting change in their jar at the 7-11 anymore.

It’s one thing to be gay, but these guys are delusional.

If he takes off his shirt, the childhood scars from his Priest’s fingernails on his back say the same thing.

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