Wednesday, April 9, 2008

DOOMSDAY CULT DOOMED!

"No, God told me-- you go first."

Two members of a Russian Doomsday Cult holed up in a cave for five months have died. One of cancer, and the other starved herself to death. The Russian sect thinks the world will end in May and that processed foods are evil, which I’d imagine has made stocking the bunker very difficult. Probably why the woman starved to death.

The sect also believes barcodes are the sign of the satan, which I can at least agree with on a symbolic level. The big question here is, if they believe the world will end in May, why did they get in the cave back in November? You’d think even in Russia there’s more fun things to do with your last 6 months on earth than live in a barricaded cave.

But wait, there’s another layer: the leader of the cult never joined his 35 followers in the cave, and just recently, he tried to commit suicide by hitting himself over the head with a log. I can’t believe we thought these people would beat us to the moon…

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