Monday, April 21, 2008

JESSICA SIMPSON'S VAG NOW LITERALLY INFECTED TOO

Thank God he doesn't have a Superbowl ring. God only knows how bad the infections would be then.

Word is out that Jessica Simpson checked into Cedar’s Sinai for a bladder infection, a urinary tract infection, a kidney infection, and a pregnancy test. Sources say the infections were brought on by heavy drinking and filthy fucking with Tony Romo.

Here’s the lesson to learn Yessica, if Tony Romo’s gonna stick his Cowboy junk in your hoo-hoo after you put shoved in your boo-hoo, you gotta make him clean it off. In the ideal world there would be a clean condom involved, but if that’s asking too much, at least spit some whiskey on his dick to disinfect your feces.

If Jessica Simpson is pregnant, I hope someone explains to her which hole the kids gonna come out of, so she doesn’t think she’s had a miscarriage in the toilet every morning.

Brace yourself, because even if this bastard Simpson spawn born from a night of torrid (and tore-it) anal sex is not a sign of the end of the world, it certainly will contribute to it.

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