Monday, April 28, 2008


It takes a retard, scratch that, two retards to get herpes on your forearm.

A special-ed teacher in Arkansas was arrested after frequently helping her students between the ages of 12 and 16 get booze and a hotel room specifically for the retarded kids to fuck in. That’s odd enough, but she also allowed the students to fool around in the back seat of her car while she was driving it. One of the 12 year-old female students recalls actually asking the teacher to turn the radio up so they could do it louder.

I hope she was playing Sinead O’Connor, because I can’t think of anything else to cover the whales, squeals, and moans of an over-stimulated and underdeveloped 12 year-old bighead sucking an equally retarded cock belonging to 14 year-old mental toddler gasping for air and more Mike's Hard Lemonade in an ecstasy that can easily be mistaken for a walrus eating a bagpipe player.

Trust me: I’ve been to the Olive Garden-- I’ve heard retards eat.