Monday, May 5, 2008

HEIDI AND SPENCER RUIN THE KENTUCKY DERBY: THE HOLES PHLOGGED

Things got a bit awkward at the Derby when Heidi revealed the new work on her face and was given 3:1 odds on winning the race.

If only Heidi would break a leg…

Seersucker? Try, cocksucker.

You’re holding the binoculars backwards, you stupid fucking cunt.

Look at the crowd, the race clearly isn’t over yet and Heidi and Spencer are acting like they won. The only thing authentic about these pictures and people is that Spencer likes to wear pink shirts.


The only people who would buy these fake paparazzi pics was Pacific Coast News Online. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if they were worth stealing.

Heidi can’t even act in a still picture, yet millions of Americans think “the Hills” is real. As bad as she is, we’re worse. Fuck us.

The booze bracelet really classes this pic up.

Derby goers look at people like Heidi and Spencer as low class and nouveau riche. You know you have no class when people in Kentucky look down at you.

What if you had an awesome pair of giant, jagged brass knuckles infected with tetanus and hep c then you came upon these two festering shitbags, but only had the strength for one punch? Thus begins the sequel to Sophie’s Choice.

This is the only picture of Heidi and Spencer from the Derby that wasn’t setup and paid for, and it couldn't be more appropriate.

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