Thursday, May 29, 2008

SCOTT MCCLELLAN FINALLY GROWS A PAIR: PHLOG

For three months in 2005, McClellan thought he had found a constitutional loop hole by answering all of the press’s questions by pointing.

"Two syllables… first one’s 'quag…'"

“I told them you’re coked up.”

It’s no excuse for being soulless, but I get the feeling Scott McClellan looked like this when he was 18.

If I were Scott, I’d grow a mustache. It won’t make up for all the deceit and douchebaggery, but at least it’ll indicate it.

“I deserve this, I’m a good person. I deserve this, I’m a good person. I deserve this, oh fuck.”

McClellan is looking at that Today show camera like it’s St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven.

“What do you mean ‘give me an example?’ Didn’t you watch a single press conference I did?”

“I’m going to hell. I’m going to hell, and I have the build for an early heart attack. Mother fucker.”

“Scott, I need you to shove that big gray one up your ass. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes sir”

"Further!"

Bush is the kind of guy that will make you abandon your personal morals, sacrifice your life and family, and even betray your country all for him. Then he’ll fire you and do that creepy thing with his finger in your palm when he shakes your hand goodbye.

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