Tuesday, June 17, 2008


“Why so shy? Press up against me!”

“Here, my son, it’s a framed picture of you with me. I thought you would cherish that.”

Giving someone a framed picture of the time they got to meet you may be the most egotistical gift ever.

“Well hey, look at that! You got me one too!”

Don’t tell me there’s not a pissing contest going on here.

“Want me to sign it?”

“Now I remember your face, but I am so bad with names… could you remind me? The Pope, that’s right! How have you been, the Pope?”

“Well, we’re doing well in Africa, but salvation’s such an easy sell there.”

Something’s wrong with your church when the supreme leader looks more evil than President Bush.

“Is that the same Jesus I worship?”

“Just a little longer. It’s still cold.”

“Come on. You did it once before.”
“I know… but… that was different. I thought it was just a one-time thing… and you’re the Pope and all…”

Pope is the only man alive with the authority to molest the President of the United States.

That area of the Vatican is called "the Lourdes Grotto." No shit, the Lourdes fucking Grotto.

“Now dance, my sweet boy, dance!”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the Pope has his own cell phone tower, but still, it seems weird.

If you tried to build a more phallic tower today, you probably could, but considering the technology available in the 15th century, that thing really looks like a giant dick.

As if being the head of the Catholic Church didn’t give him enough opportunities to molest children, the Pope even installed a puppet show theatre in the Vatican.

“Now do you hire blacks or Mexicans to take care of this place?”

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