Thursday, June 5, 2008

CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES: PHLOG

There’s always a couple of black guys that are pro-flag because their ancestors died fighting for the Confederacy. Someone should tell them it wasn’t optional enlistment.

Jesus Christ, pick a side guys. USA or CSA, you can’t love both.

Something tells me a true master race wouldn’t declare their superiority on a $7 t-shirt.

These girls must have really confused the people working at the truckstop where they bought those.

You can tell he’s making fun of her because he’s wearing hiking socks and she’s retarded.

What type of event could you possibly wear this tie to? You can’t wear it to work. Cause if you work at the kind of place where you can wave the rebel flag, you probably don’t have to wear a tie. Or a shirt for that matter.

Or maybe if you have a really important lynching, like Obama. You hate him cause he's black, but you still respect the office, so you put on the tie.

...or if Artimus Pyle is playing your fall semi-formal.

But most of the time, this seems like a far more practical fashion use of the flag on clothing.

Words that have never been spoken, “do you think I should wear my flag ring or my class ring?”

It’s where I keep all my fears and insecurities, plus a travel size amount of my ignorance.

So, the big girl created a racist diversion so no one would notice that she doesn’t have a prom date.

“We’re not racist. We got a picture of a tar baby right there on the wall. Racist people don’t put pictures of tar babies on their wall, do they?”

Turns out, those colors did run.

This is in Kentucky. Kentucky was a border state and never officially joined the Confederacy. Why to go, assholes.

Ah shit. I can’t make fun of Bocephus.

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