Thursday, June 5, 2008


"We're still savin' up for the pole."

A Tampa chapter of the Sons of Confederate Veterans plans to erect the world’s largest Confederate flag at the intersection of I-75 and I-4. The rebel flag will be 30 feet high and 50 feet long, and illuminated by spotlights atop a 139 foot poll, making it large enough to be seen from any porch in Florida.

It will be the world’ largest rebel flag, coming in several feet larger than the previous world record holding Confederate flag flying in a small village outside Nice, France.

In my home state of South Carolina, we stopped flying the rebel flag over the state house. Not so much because it seemed like the right thing to do, but rather because black people in South Carolina have been shit on so much, that they hang their heads when they’re in public. None of them are having a good enough day to hold their head high enough to notice the flag waving in the sky. That’s why they took the it down, and moved it to a memorial on the lawn by the sidewalk.

Apparently black people in Florida have gotten far too optimistic.

Protesting the flag will simply cause polarizing knee jerk reactions and divide the area by racial lines. If you really want to prove that the flag is a hate symbol, you shouldn’t make posters and shake your fist at it. Simply buy the adjoining property and raise an equally large Nazi flag right next to it. Then once you’ve made your point, get the plot on the other side, and hoist big ol’ sickle and hammer up there just to piss them off.

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