Tuesday, June 24, 2008

GOD HATES HIPPIES!

Over 840 separate fires are burning in the state of California. A lightening storm that struck ground 6,000 times is blamed for the fires, but I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that God has a 14 year-old pyromaniac son.

“How about this, son. Until I give you another update, you just assume we’re fucked. Really, really fucked.”

“Cmon Mac, stay positive. When they rebuild this town, you’ll be able to fuck every woman and her daughter that live here.”

To be fair, flames burst out of midair and follow Arnold Schwarzenegger every where he goes.

“Dude, don’t piss uphill from me! You're an ass!”

It looks like California just lost WW II.

Sucks to loose your home. Sucks to loose your lawnmower. Really fucking sucks to loose your three-wheeler.

Now who’s smug, Mr. Northern California douche bag who rides his bike to work?

Man, the hippies must be pissed. Dousing the earth with unnatural chemicals is saving their lives.

Poor deer. But with that much heat, you know she’s gonna be crispy on the outside and tender on the inside.

Considering the irony that half of America is under water as California burns, I think God may be trying to teach us a lesson: you all suck.

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