Wednesday, June 25, 2008

MARIA SHARAPOVA PLAYED AT WIMBLEDON OR SOMETHING I THINK

I’m guessing somebody has already photoshopped a big dick into this picture, or maybe just some hairy, meaty hands clinched on her shoulders from behind.

When will women’s tennis take a hint from beach volleyball and finish the job they started, completely exploit the broads, and put them in bikinis? Add just a little more skin and mic the grunts, then all of the sudden you have a pay-per-view sensation.

“Right-o, it’s appears her bum is safe, but we best keep watching it.”

In all my fantasies of having sex with Maria Sharapova, until now I never imagined she would be raping me.

I love it when tennis chicks shove the balls up in their panties, but sometimes I wonder where they go when I can’t see the bulge.

You can only get that look on Maria’s face by growing up in a country that has no legal definition of rape. Dating must have sucked.

Mother Russia must have been one sexy bitch.

How many people have looked at this picture and not thought about shoving that racket up her cooch? Maybe three?

All the seats on that side are empty, because everyone’s sitting behind her.

There’s not a camel in the world with toes that delicate and sexy.

If you ever come across a woman that looks this good in Russia, and she’s into you, be careful, because somebody’s about to take all your money kill you.

I know it’s hard to eat a banana and not look like you’re sucking a dick, but she’s covering her teeth with her lips for fuck’s sake.

Holy shit, she just got hotter!

Who’s the bigger douche bag, the sleazy photog who shot her crotch, or her PR guy who set it up?

I hope there’s a brief window between when Sharpova is too old to play tennis and when her Russian genes beef her up like a Cro-Magnon cow with a unibrow, so she actually will do some nudes.

Never mind. This will do.

1 comment:

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