Monday, June 23, 2008

OIL PHLOG

Saudi King Abdullah’s insistence to stand in front of everyone else for the picture is probably a good indicator for how the oil negotiations are going.

If we really want to curb gas consumption, we should put a cardboard cutout of that Arab guy at every gas station, or at least force the current employees to where headdresses.

Samuel Bodman has been Secretary of Energy for the past three years. I think it’s safe to say he sucks at his job… or he’s evil on purpose, and really, really good at it.

Evil?

Sucks at his job?

Both.

“$150 a barrel.”
“How about $180?”
“$200.”
“You gotta deal!”

“So I cut off her clit and kicked her in the face.”
“Ah, kids!”

Well, when you look at it like that, $4.50 a gallon seems pretty irrelevant.

If nothing else, I hope at least the inability to get any oil out of Iraq feels like an enormous personal failure for Bush and Cheney.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown finally sobered up and realized he had been talking to a pile of napkins for three hours.

Algerian Oil Minister Chakib Khelil (center) is truly an oilman’s oilman.

I wouldn’t let a Bahrainian woman’s mouth near my nose, much less this bald, mustachioed mother fucker.

I brought you some hummus in my beard.

“Lower… lower… lower…”

“Let’s see here… screw you, fuck your mother, and lick warm man yogurt off my curry covered asshole. How’s that for lower prices?”

The American hand-picked Iraqi delegate is the most suspicious looking guy at this OPEC conference. That’s really fucking saying something.

Qatar’s oil minister looks like that bitch that stole my parking spot at the Glendale Galleria last weekend.

I think if the Germans really want to make peace with their national heritage, now they should go kill 6 million Arabs. Fair is fair.

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