Friday, June 6, 2008


Friday morning, after being reluctantly forced out of the election by the voters and delegates, Hillary declares, "If can't be President of this world, I'm going to end it!"

So she burns down the rest of Hollywood, which makes her so popular in middle-America, she picks up 57 super delegates.

"Fuck those fags in California. Hillary's curin' AIDS!"

Not content with just causing chaos in America, Hillary decides to stoke the fire in Russian following their gay rights protest violence.

"Vhaddaya mean to reach-round?!?"

So Hillary tells Putin the whole world thinks he's gay.

"Da! I swear you must suck rocket before launch! Old Soviet trick!"

Within 12 minutes, Putin has killed every man in Russia, Asia, and most of Europe.

"Now who's gay?!"

"Now who's lonely..."

Next Hillary goes to Florida, the sight of the world's largest Confederate flag and show them a picture of Obama.

"Who's that half negro, and where's the colored son 'a bitch that raped his momma?"

Turns out the Sons of the Confederate Veterans are so out of touch, they didn't even know wh Obama is or that he's running for President, which is pretty out of touch for career racists.

"President of this America?"

Florida serves as a flash point and by noon on Saturday, the Presidential Race Wars of '08 are in full force.

McCain's all for it.

These chicks even combined Nazi engineering with reckless redneck abandon, making the Southern racist movement 800 times more efficient.

Thinking she's chasing the vote of three very modern Klansmen, Hillary accidentally follows some astronauts to Kennedy Space Center.

Once she realizes she's at NASA, Hillary realizes this world is not enough, so she turns up the race baiting a notch.

Everyone takes a side.

Even the astronauts.

However, Hillary accidentally brings a small magnet into the NASA offices which wipes clean all the floppy disks NASA has been using in their old Commodore equipment in lieu of a erver or even a hard drive.

"Who did what now?"

The Space Station crashes to Earth in Brazil.

And lands on the tribe that we just discovered, which seems like no big loss, since we've only known about them for a few days.

But it turns out, they've been developing a cure for cancer, which in addition to being highly effective, is highly explosive on a sub-atomic level.

The space station crashes into their hut/lab and creating an explosion 100 times larger then a nuke and kill us all at 12:37 PM EST Saturday afternoon.

No comments: