Wednesday, July 16, 2008

ANDY DICK GROPED A GIRL? PHLOG

It’s one thing for a celebrity to get charged with drug use, but when you’re also charged with sexual battery on a 17 year-old girl in the parking lot of Wild Wings in Murrieta, it’s more pathetic than the substitute science teacher who fucks the class turtle.

I’m just shocked it was a girl he sexually battered.

Andy is what I’d call, “ambisexual.” He doesn’t just fuck everyone, he fucks everything.

Sometimes people do so much coke, even they can’t tell if they’re trying to be funny or sincere anymore.

Andy looks like these guys’ creepy principal that buys them booze and then asks them questions about their penises.

You know you’re fucked up when you make Tom Arnold uncomfortable.

“I use Lowe backpacks because it feels like a midget’s fucking me from behind. You should too.”

Best case scenario: those girls threw their drinks on him.

“Ask me where Murdoch is.”

The guy on the left’s all “Ha ha! Now you know how I felt when the priest touched me!”

“But you did my blow! You have to suck my dick!”

Words can hurt, but none so much as “the poor man’s Tom Green.”

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