Tuesday, July 8, 2008

CARLA BRUNI-SARKOZY'S NEW ALBUM DROPS... OUT OF HER

Carla Bruni, the former model/ heiress to an Italian fortune/ wife of the President of France is releasing a new album. It’s called “Sex, Drugs, and French Politics,” subtitled “Things I’ve shoved in my Cooch.”

I’m all for the President of France having a ridiculously hot wife.

However, former models from absurdly rich families who use their demi-fame to release an album really piss me off.

She’s like Paris Hilton, but with more class.

And in this case “class” is getting fucked on a piano…

Not a cheeseburger.

I’m not sayin’ she’s a slut, but…

Even that guitar had to take a number to get between her legs.

If fucking Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton didn’t get you an album, and you’re forced to marry the President of a country in order to press some vinyl, you must really suck. Shit, even Kevin Federline made an album with less effort.

“This next song is called “My Poor, Sore Vagina.”

“Just let me close enough to smell her on your face…”

I wonder if sleeping with Mick Jagger made her loose weight because she felt fat next to him, or because he gave her syphilis, herpes, and the full alphabet of hepatitis?

There are three more tennis balls you can’t see in this picture.

Of all the things I consider sexy, a woman chewing on her underwear doesn’t rank very high.

When you’re married to a head of state, you shouldn’t show the world your ass crack. I don’t care if you’re Italian, try to feign some class.

I’d say she didn’t marry him for love, but I guess that’s obvious considering he’s a politician and French.

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