Tuesday, July 1, 2008

MCCAIN'T GONNA HAPPEN: PHLOG

Looks like somebody just fell off the wagon, or just came back from the dead.

Okay, she’s definitely taking his pills.

“A telephone? That thing?”
“Yeah it’s a phone—a cell phone, but it’s got nothing to do with my job or this factory, really.”

“What if I let you move to China with your job? And then do it for 17 cents an hour? I'm all about compromise.”

“The guy crashed a plane and got captured. Doesn’t sound like a good leader to me. Hell, doesn’t even sound like a good pilot.”

“Oh snap! I did not say that! That was all Big Wes!”

“If Obama wins, all of your kids will die. I’m not saying I’m going to kill them, but your children will die.”

“So, what do you think Jesus would do if somebody was say imprisoned and tortured for five years, and then that person spent the next thirty-five years pretending he had forgiven them but he was secretly working with maniacal fervor to become President just so he could nuke that country off the globe on the first day of his Presidency? Would Jesus understand that?”

“Straight Talk Express” my ass.

“Hug me, America!”

“Seriously America, don’t leave your old man hangin’!”

What is this, the old folks’ prom?

This photo should be titled “Pickin’ a Loser.”

It has nothing to do with the fact that McCain’s in Cincinnati. This is how he starts every meal these days.

I don’t know much about fan boats, but I do know, in the movies, only the bad guys have ‘em.

A protester created a scene as McCain spoke at the National Association of Elected Latino Officials. That had to be really confusing for McCain. One because the protest was all in Spanish, and two because he’s really old.

McCain’s starting to look like a shell-less albino turtle.

They tried to make it as easy as possible for McCain to remember where to go, but he insisted on wandering off.

McCain’s got a pretty obvious tell when he lies.

“An’ I wanna give you my autograph too.”

“So, tell me what it’s like to kill a man.”

“Fucking awesome.”

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