Wednesday, July 2, 2008


I’ve always said, if I just had one day left on Earth, the only thing I would want is a high-speed bulldozer. Imagine all the shit you could fuck up.


He didn’t even have to slow down to do that.

Yeah, that’s it, run to stop the rogue bulldozer on foot. Good fucking luck.

If it was me, I would have duct taped a brick to the gas pedal, so even after I’m dead, I’d keep destroying shit.

Yeah, I know, a bulldozer! I mean it sucks and all, but it was pretty fucking awesome!”

Can you imagine the impact if instead of hijacking airplanes, the terrorist had shown up in time square with 7 fucking bulldozers on 9/11? Oh, the lack of humanity!

Seriously, what if a second bulldozer all of the sudden busted through that wall like the Kool-Aid man and crushed everyone that came to see the destruction of the first attack? Total domination. Mark my words, bulldozers are the weapon of the future.

Of course, bullet proof glass or a helmet are necessary amenders .

“Your luggage is fucked. Wait, there’s one suitcase let. Looks like it’s got some white shirts, black pants, a black hat, and some tassel thingies to hang from your waist. Whose is that?”

I’m no one to judge, but this Palestinian policeman looks like he really sucks at his job.

It must really suck to be Palestinian and fight with Egyptian Arabs. It’s one thing to constantly be at war with the Jews, but other Arabs? That’s like your mom calling you fat.

The Egyptian border water cannon isn’t just to knock people down, it’s also to taunt the Palestinians with their natural resources.

“Why God? Why was I born here?!?”

Palestinians should hire some freelance Mexican consultants to teach them how to cross the border.

... and to throw.

There you go, a sling shot! Now you’re stepping into the 18th Century BC.

It takes some serious balls to be a Jew and live in the Middle East, but to be a Jew and put on a day-glow orange vest to be easier seen? Well that’s just pure hudspah.

I see a big market for satellite TV. If only we could find some merchants to sell them…

No comments: