Monday, July 7, 2008

RUNNING OF THE BULLS IN PAIN: PHLOG

The guy in the upper left corner with the beard was just looking for a vacation, and had no idea the running of the bulls was going on, but now he thinks Spain's a shittier country than Liberia.

Before the running, these guys dress up and pray to Saint Fermin for protection. Seems like at least once, Saint Fermin would answer the prayers and say “You want those fuckers to be safe? Tell them not to piss off the bulls and then get right in front of them. Ever think of that before you put on that ridiculous wig and asked me for an impossible favor?”

I hope Hemingway got reincarnated as a bull, ‘cause you know he can’t let this shit slide.

It’s one thing to pass out in a public park after a night of partying, but it’s a whole ‘nother beast to still be asleep when people are passing you on their way to work.

People are entirely too resilient. This type of behavior should have evolutionary consequences.

This guy’s new biggest concern is whether he should eat or smoke his cocaine for the rest of the weekend.

It doesn’t surprise me to see white people run with the bulls, it’s kind of like an organic Mountain Dew commercial, but this Asian guy, it seems like he would know better.

In the same day you’re about to be chased by dozens of two ton, pissed off bulls, it is impossible to give a shit what’s in the newspaper.

“No, let me see the seat of your white pants.”

“C’mon then, just one smooch for good luck? Show all the ladies what men we are…”

It’s beyond me why we don’t hold Spain at least partially accountable for our immigration problem.

Not gonna make a difference.

Okay, it’s one thing to run with the bulls. There’s something natural and primitive about it, but running in front of a car? That’s more retarded than Rainman's mom skipping the neonatal vitamins.

Holy shit! It never occurred to fight the bulls. This guys sweepin’ the legs.

I’m guessing PETA’s against the running of the bulls, but they have to enjoy it on some level.

American chicks crowd surfing have to be careful in Spain. Those sneaky Spaniards won’t just grab your boobs, they’ll shove two thumbs up your ass just to see the look on your face.

 “More! More! More! Pour more on my nose!”

Can you imagine the hangover? That wine’s in a plastic bottle.

“No Mom, you need to have a baby soon!”   

In their own twisted daddy-didn't-love-me-so-I-can't-ever-allow-myself-to-be-happy way, these animal rights activists are having just as much fun.

How is it that animal rights protesters are always so hot in press photos, then you go to the humane society to adopt a cat, and they’re portly old ladies with mangy mustaches and a faint memory of human touch?

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