“Can you believe they let us hold a celebration called ‘World Youth Day?!’ This is even better than when we mandated pediatric prostate exams!”
This year at World Youth Day, the clergy set an official world record for the most boners duct taped to their legs at once.
“So then I said, look kid, are you gonna sit on your knees and wonder whether there’s a God, or are you gonna finish sucking my dick!?”
Think some of my molestation jokes are going too far? That’s a clergyman holding a sign, offering kids a chance to get into heaven if they kiss him.
Uh-oh! It’s like when a great white shark sees a wounded seal swimming alone in the middle of the ocean.
This century, the Catholic Church has adopted the same strategy as the tobacco companies: shilling their product to developing countries lagging in science.
Wow, that jewel encrusted hat woven from gold thread really reminds me of the crown of thorns Jesus wore.
And that shiny, solid gold cross is just like the giant, splintery, wooden one Jesus had to carry through the streets before he got nailed to it.