Monday, August 11, 2008

JUST AN OLD SOVIET BOMB, KEEPS GEORGIA ON MY MIND: PHLOG

C’mon, if you put a sign that fruity on the border, you’re just begging to be invaded.

Oh shit, the new Russian President looks like he wants to impress Putin. This could get uglier than Jenna Jameson seeking her father’s approval in the butt.

“We need special plan. Something of Olympic caliber. The World is watching”

“Idea—how about we murder and rape everyone.”

“Mmm. I like it. I do like it. Perhaps we murder and rape with gold medals?”

“Dah! Good one! That’s why your are the boss!”

“He is a beautiful boy. Prepare him for the cannon.”

At least the Georgians know their only hope is to write the signs in English, because if we have to learn a foreign language before we help you, you can kiss your ass goodbye.

You can tell these are the Georgian tanks because they’re taking so much care to direct them through town. Russians are just running over shit.

Sometimes people from former Soviet nations look like they’re genetically predisposed to sadness and suffering.

If a chick in the front row of the protest is wearing a tank top and sunglasses, I have a hard time considering it a real war.

“Now how am I to pretend I have better life? I am meeting Friends at Central Perk everyday at 3:07. We drink fancy coffees and make wit.”

Well, we know who didn’t get to watch this.

“On the TV, now?! Shit! Fuck! Damn!”

It’s hard to take a photographer serious when he leaves the lens cap on his camera. The same is true for tanks and cannons.

Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili doesn’t seem convinced everything is going to be OK.

He looks drunker than Alec Baldwin.

Georgian women wave to Russian troops, resting assured that they are past rape age.

Tell this woman your biggest problem and how worried you are about it, and I guarantee she’ll slap your pudgy American face and spit.

I can’t tell, did this guy put on his uniform in the dark because there’s no power left in Georgia, or is it all mismatched because it came from a thrift store?

“She is not good weapon, but will do.”

Burning Georgia, a golden oldie in the military world.

No comments: