Thursday, August 14, 2008


I’ve read that the rush a teen girl gets from going nuts and screaming in a giant crowd like this is akin to heroin, but here’s the deal, heroin isn’t that outwardly obnoxious, it doesn’t wear tight jeans and a loose bowtie, and it makes great music. Stop soiling the good name of heroin, fucking Jonas Brothers.

They look like an ice cream parlor manager, a 1980’s standup comic, and a fag on safari.

Three faces created for beating, and here I am with just two fists. It’s like that metaphor about hell being an all you can eat fried chicken, pizza, and bbq buffet, but your arms are too short to reach your mouth.

There’s something wrong with America, and I hope I die before this generation starts making decisions for the nation.

I don’t see why everyone complains that young people don’t show up to vote. Good, fuck ‘em.

A lot of times I look at tween pop acts and say it’s not their fault-- they’re just a cog in the corporate system and an excuse for their parents not to get a real job-- but this little fag, I’m blaming him, because he could refuse to wear that scarf.

I should stop calling this kid a fag. Looks like he actually is the gay one, and I've got no problem with him being a homosexual, it's just everything else that bothers me.

The redhead on the left is the only girl keeping her cool. That means she could actually give a shit less about the Jonases or she is in fact certifiably insane and planning to steal a lock of hair or an ear.

This Jonas crowd is from “Good Morning America,” which should be called, “Wake the Fuck Up America!”

Okay, this picture of the Jonas Brothers at the White House actually is fitting. Smoke, mirrors, and corporate control. See?

Fake sugar served in a baby’s bottle, how appropriate.

So far, I can’t get a full tally on exactly how many musicians have to play behind the Jonas brothers to make them sound good, but let’s hope they pay them enough to fight off their suicidal urges. Or not, kill yourself, sellouts.

This picture’s so close to being perfect. Now if only we could replaces those harnesses with nooses.

I’d love to see the reaction at the teen choice awards as the Jonas Brothers’ lifeless bodies were lowered over the crowd by noose and their purple heads dangled from their snapped necks as blood dripped from their mouths and shit spewed from the seat of their tight emo pants, onto some little girl’s new Hannah Montana outfit she bought just for the show.

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