Friday, August 22, 2008


It all starts Friday morning at 7 AM during the Olympic shooting competition.

Russia’s Natalia Paderina turns and puts a single bullet in the head of Georgia’s Nino Salukvadze, killing Georgia’s best hope for Olympic gold and a sovereign nation.

It’s a rallying call for Russian troops who are burnt out and have gotten sick of pretending to pull out of Georgia as they rape and pillage their neighbor.

Destroying a country is a lot less fun when you have to pretend you’re not doing it.

So Russia goes balls to the wall, stealing, raping and pillaging Georgia. They even steal rapes from each other. It’s nasty.

So Condoleezza Rice takes a big stand and says she’d really prefer they stop… if that’s cool with them.

Russia gets pissed!

The start putting Condi masks on all their victims before they torture and rape them and steal their family heirlooms.

It’s fun, but little conciliation for their hurt feelings from almost being told not to do something.

The press asks Bush what he plans to do, but Bush just shrugs.

That shrug puts Russia over the edge, and they launch a full out assault on us.

They launch all their nuclear warheads.

They send bombers with more nuclear weapons.

They send every nuclear sub that’s not stuck at the bottom of the ocean across the Pacific.

They send all their Migs...


and armored bicycles.

They even activate all their dormant Soviet spy warriors hidden in the US.

But nothing happens.

So we wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and keep waiting...

Until finally, at 8:34 PM Sunday,Until a piece of scrap metal from the Russian plane that came the closest to making it here breaks off and tumbles to the Earth and hits a 13 year-old girl on the leg, spraining her ankle.

So we retaliate by launching our entire nuclear arsenal at Russia, even though there are rumors the 13 year-old girl is faking the injury to get out of gym class.

At 8:43 PM EST Sunday, and we have blown up the entire planet, and the world has ended.


Anonymous said...

We have vodka, bear, caviar, ak47 and Topol M too)))))

Losinka-city, Moscow, Russia

chaos_godz101 said...

Nah Russia has vodka. They would drink rather than fight pitiful USA.

gunnermanx said...

If they thought they could take the USA on they should of done it a long time ago. We've been ready for years!