Monday, September 29, 2008

CONGRESS BETTER NOT EARN TIME AND A HALF OVER THE WEEKEND: PHLOG

Judd Gregg (R) looks like he just spit Mitch McConnell’s own semen back into his mouth, which to date, is the grossest and perhaps most accurate metaphor for this financial crisis.

Everything’s fine!”

“Everything’s fucked!”

You know we’re fucked when all the politicians start using the open hand, “calm down gesture.”

It’s like they’re bad magicians showing us they’re not palming anything, when we all know it’s up their sleeve.

“It’s Sunday, I’m at work, what the hell else do you want from me?!? 

“Oh Barney!”

“Hurrumph, Barney no like work on Sunday.”

That’s the thing about working on the weekend—even if you get nothing done, you still have that smug sense of self-satisfaction.   

So this is government transparency? A photographer forced to lurk outside the window?

“Maybe I don’t say this enough Condi, but over the past 8 years, I have had a fucking blast!”

Oh shit! Cameras! Sad face! Sad face!”

Crap, it’s the press!”

“I can’t do this.”

“Fine! Stop poking me, I’ll go back out there!”

“Hmmm…”

“Nah, fuck it.”

“Fuck you George! I’m in charge of the money now!”

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