Thursday, September 25, 2008


I will be suspending my campaign of change, in favor of more of the same. I have to go support the Bush administration’s mob mentality and fear tactics to push through this economic Patriot Act masquerade. Let’s change to more of the same!”

“Sorry-- I just heard myself say that out loud for the first time. I’m ridiculous.”

“Look at it. That’s what it says. Wow, I’m full of shit!”

“No seriously… I’d love to do the debate, but I have to go make $1 trillion magically appear. Otherwise, I’d totally be there… maybe if I get done with the magic money making early, I can catch the end of it. I mean, don’t plan on it, but if I’m done in time I’ll drop by.”

“They just agreed on the legislation.” 

“Ha Ha! Oh shit-fuck!”

“Here's the thing-- I’m coming down with a cold, my great aunt died, and I need to get a hair cut. I've got an appointment to get my oil changed.”

“I’m not sure I have all the necessary shots and immunizations to enter Mississippi…I’ve got to do some last minute Rash Hashanah shopping... pick up some rolls and a ham for our dinner… and I promised my wife I’d help her count our houses and organize her pills.

“What if we have someone kidnap him? That could work. We could peg in on Vietnamese terrorists who support Obama. We need some hoods, a net, and an Obama t-shirt!”

“Hell no! I ain’t touching him. You saw what he did to me when our hands brushed against each other in the hall. I still can’t sit down.”

“Well, while you put your campaign on hold, can we talk to your running mate about the economy?”

“It was a witch!”


Anonymous said...

I just had Dr. Pepper come out of my nose!!!

Peter Grumbine said...

sorry, I know Dr. Pepper is one of the most painful drinks to blow through your nose.