Wednesday, September 3, 2008

RNC: THE CALM BEFORE HURRICANE SARAH: DAY 2 PHLOG

Great, now can we get a picture of her from behind, so she looks like another black woman supporting McCain?”

The GOP claimed that Lieberman’s speech would be the most moving and powerful of all speeches from both conventions, which is odd, because to move that crowd, the short, boring Jew, would have had to drop to his knees, praise Jesus, buy a gun, and shoot a gay guy in the face with it.

That’s a reflection of a satellite broadcast of President Bush, and that’s about as close as they’re letting him to the convention.

“Let me just say to America, I’m sorry. My son, my fault. Won’t happen again.”

How far are they keeping Cheney from the convention? He’s in Azerbaijan. No shit.

Somebody should tell this guy that nobody ever lays on their deathbed and mutters the words, “if could have just collected one more convention pin… then my life would have been better…”

Due to low turnout, boredom, and pure instinct, some GOP delegates began drilling for oil during the middle of Lieberman’s speech.

Every child in this woman’s son’s carpool is well aware that Barack Obama is an America-hating, Muslim terrorist intent on destroying our nation, and that you just can’t dance to today’s music.

If republicans really are happier with their sex lives, it’s got to be because they have lower standards. That may seem irrelevant to the election at first, but it's a good metaphor.

“Can you see the sign? No, I know. Sharon put the damn heart on there. Yeah, that’s what I said, totally queer.”

McCain's old Civil War buddy.

According to the GOP schedule, she should be knocked up in a year or two.

“So, I’ll sing the lyric ‘Well, he got shot down in a Vietnam town’ and then I’ll point up. That’s when you drop the McCain piñata and we have all them gooks run out and beat it with sticks.”

“John McCain’s as American as force-feeding poisoned apple pie to terrorists, and then wiping their seed from the planet by killing their children with the pie pan. That's my John McCain! Country first!”

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