Friday, September 19, 2008


It all starts Friday morning when Bush addresses the nation about the economy.

"Ah shit."

"Shit, shit, shit!"

“Don’t worry America. I have a plan.”

"Does anybody want to buy this podium?"

"No? Don't worry. I got another plan."

"Think, think, think... damn, "think's" a weird word."

"I've got it! I figured out the answer!"

"Hey Dad, can I have some money?"

“I can’t believe it’s come to this. What did I say last time George?”

“Fine, I’ll get a job, but you’re an asshole, Dad!”

Saturday morning, Bush crunches some numbers, and due to some enormous decimal place problems he thinks he can fix the economy by working a night job for three weeks.

Even though Bush thinks he can fix all our money problems with a second job, he quits on his first day, “cause work sucks!”

“Ok, new plan. We’re gonna turn around a couple kee’s of coke. I got a guy.”

“Sorry, America. I don’t know what happened. I lost the coke. All of it—wait—SNOOORT—all of it.”

“Don’t sweat it guys. I got another idea. Whew ha! Let’s do this shit! NOW!”

“After I jam for a few minutes! Anyone know white rabbit?”

“I do! Fuck yeah!”

“All right, let’s go! Yeah! Fuck, I love fixing the economy! Shit!”

“Here it is, y’all-- ready for my big idea? It’s big, y’all! We’re goin’ to fuckin’ China! Hell yeah!”

“Give me all your money you commie bitch! NOW!!!”

"Huh? George? Wait right there..."


It’s 9:12 AM Sunday morning, and the world has been blown to pieces.

No comments: