Wednesday, October 1, 2008


"How does my hair look? Does it look like the economy and country are fucked beyond repair? No? Good. Debbie is just great with that comb."

I’ve got a new plan called ‘Jobs for America.’ The plan is for China and India to do the jobs… for America.”

Hear me out-- it’s a two part plan. First we send your jobs to children in Asia, then you adopt those children.”

“That way, you can continue to be a bunch of fat, lazy whiners, and still earn an income. Don't worry America-- I am on the job! Until I find a little chink that can do it for me.”

“I don’t want to alarm anybody, but this just fell out of my pants.”

“…and we will see who’s got the right stuff tomorrow when I debate against the economy!”

Actually, you’re debating Joe Biden.”

"Oh shit! I'm fucked in the boo-hoo!"

Needless to say, the republican crowd got pretty upset when Palin didn’t flash them.

The woman down front is smiling because Sarah Palin just unwittingly signed her mortgage.

“So, Barack Obama, we finally meet.”

“No, you’re right, it ‘kind of doesn’t matter whether or not we caused global warming.’ Now, could you bounce up and down just a little?”

People in the back row couldn’t even tell it was Piper, not Sarah, talking about international affairs. 

“I see Russia! Boo on Russia! Boooo!”

No comments: