Monday, October 6, 2008

MARKETS CATCH CASE OF THE MONDAYS: PHLOG

“So the government’s going to buy our bad debt, so we can loan more money to people and create even more debt? Well that’s cool for us, but isn’t that kind of retarded?”

“Oh yeah, totally fucking retarded!"

“Oh shit, Bush is saying something about the economy.”

“Fuck! Sell, sell, sell!"

“I’m still on the job people. I’m not goin’ to go on vacation for the next four months. I’m goin’ to help fix this economy.”

“All of it! Unload it all! Burn the receipts—fuck it, just leave it, get the car, we gotta get out of here!"

“Don’t assume I’m on vacation just because you caught me out of town, not working, and running errands at a pharmacy.”

“Oh good, he’s lying. He’s on vacation.”

"Buy! Buy! Buy!"

“In fact, I was on my way back to the office now. We were just gonna pick up a couple of RC colas, a slim jim, and U-S Weekly for some economy journalism, and then get back to work.”

“Fucking media! Stop making him do his job! Just let the god damned mouth-breather play hooky for a few days so we can stabilize this shit!”

“Why would they do that?

“I’m going to go home, turn up Chopin’s second sonata, draw a hot bath, climb in, and jerk off on my hair dryer.”

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