Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I voted for John Obama, and if you want to change that, you’re gonna have to talk to my friends ‘thunder’ and ‘lightening!’”

 A 75 year-old Republican male poll worker claims a 73 year-old Democrat female poll worker attacked him during early voting at an old folks home. Apparently the woman jumped on the man’s back and pummeled his head with her fists until she was pulled off of him.

This election is going to be so awesome! If old people are coming to fisticuffs already, I can’t wait to see what happens on Election Day. I’m guessing a group of Republicans will shut down voting in a poor neighborhood at noon, so some young Democrats will drive across town to light the GOP’s SUVs on fire, causing pro-life groups to retaliate by spraying down polling booths with chunky pigs’ blood and fetuses, then of course the Democrats will be so pissed at the churchies that they take a giant crucifix and light it on fire at a poll, which just isn’t going to help anybody. I suggest you move to Mexico before all the good jobs are taken.

Apparently, the two old coots were fighting over a ballot, which may have been marked erroneously. Finally when the dusty bones and dentures settled, and all was said and done, the ballot was marked for both candidates, meaning: we’re all fucked.

Which begs the question: how long are we going to keep handing over our tax money to keep these old fucks alive and knee deep in sugar-free hard candy? 

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