Thursday, October 9, 2008

REPILEE RE-RE ROBOT

Tell me again about the robotic rabbits, George.”

No one was surprised this week when the Japanese unveiled a new robot that looks like a 5 year-old girl, and no one will be surprised when Japanese men fuck that child robot. The surprising part is that the robot looks like a retarded kid.

Sure there’s a certain percentage of people who will buy the Repilee R-1 just to simulate sex with a 5 year-old retarded girl, let’s call that 50% of the Japanese population, but why else would you make a re-re robot?

The inventors say she was created to help the elderly and disabled, and her life-like appearance will put people at ease. Yeah, because there’s nothing more relaxing then depending on a 5 year-old retard to bring you the right medication.

Repilee represents the sum of my two greatest fears: being killed in my sleep by the cold, sterile, claw-like hands of a robot, and being beaten up by a retard (are you even allowed to fight back?)

Don’t kid yourself, the robots will turn on us and kill us all. Now all I can imagine is gasping for air, as Repilee chokes me with her surprisingly strong, plump, retarded, sausage-like, robotic toddler fingers as I try to scream but can only stare into her cold, heavy, drooping eye lids. “Shhh! Is almos’ oveh now! Beep.”

No comments: