Thursday, October 2, 2008

UFO IN IRELAND

Um, okay, Mr. Leprechaun, for my first wish, I wish you’d put away that anal probe. How about that for a starter?”

 This week, several UFO sightings have been reported in the UK and Ireland. To us Americans the difference between a UFO landing in England and Ireland may seem nil, but trust me, for the safety of the world, let’s hope they land in England first, because unless Bono is there to negotiate with the aliens, there will be all out, intergalactic war in a matter of seconds.

 Don’t get me wrong, the Irish are lovely people, but they have a nasty habit of getting piss ass drunk, accusing you of calling them a thief, and then fighting your smallest friend.  I’m not sure what the aliens’ intentions are, but I don’t want the first thing they hear to be, “Ye think yer better an’ me jus coz youz got a fancy flyin’ boat that floats up in the clouds?! Wha’s that? You call me a tief? I’ll kick yer lil bald cancer havin’ arse, you lil bug eyed shyte!”

12 comments:

Paul McClean said...

You xenophobic, racist little cunt. Love, the people of Ireland.

Peter Grumbine said...

See, that's what I'm talking about! Hot blood!

Foxblood said...

Ya fuckin' thief, ya. Wait'll I get me hands on ya, ya little bollix! You and your space pals zoomin' here there and everywhere. Yer zoomin' days'll be over soon, boyo.

Paul McClean said...

Being offended by a racist is being hot-blooded?

I've scanned through the garbage you post on Reddit, Peter. You've been a member for 9 months and all you do is post crap from this blog. For all the shite you post there, you have a karma score of 1 and a comment karma score of 0. That's seriously some kind of record.

You have actually lowered the bar.

How about this? You stop posting shit on reddit and concentrate on your burger-flipping job from Monday to Friday, watching box sets of 24 on Saturdays whilst masturbating in your parents basement, and going to church on Sunday with your equally trashy Christfag buddies to pray to the magic man in the sky?

Do we have a deal or what?

Peter Grumbine said...

Wow. If only I could be so talented as you and post other people’s shit on my blog every couple of weeks. I hope you enjoy the traffic you get from my comment section.

Flipping burgers? I’m a writer by trade. You’re an IT guy. IT guys are the maintenance men of the 21st century. Keep your wrench handy, I can’t wait to see more pics some other lonely douche made of Star Wars characters in a modern setting on your blog. Great stuff.

Now I believe somebody's calling you because they forgot their email password-- better get on that.

PS: Stop taking yourself so damn seriously-- trust me, no one else does.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Maintenance man of the 21st century! Good one!

Anonymous said...

point for grumbine here, the rest of you chodes are amateurs. maybe if you irish laddies could lighten up and take a fucking joke, you wouldn't be blowing each other up over some old-ass Anne Boleyn grudge match shit. Next time you turds see a UFO, hitch a ride and get the fuck off earth.

Paul McClean said...

Jesus peter... leaving anonymous comments on your own blog is pretty transparent. Or do your hordes of fans usually post anonymously? Funny the way they use the same language as yourself.

Paul McClean said...

"maybe if you irish laddies could lighten up and take a fucking joke, you wouldn't be blowing each other up over some old-ass Anne Boleyn grudge match shit"

I see you have a keen interest in world history.

Paul McClean said...

Gladly, Peter. I'm out of here. I'll be watching though, keeping my beady little sleeveen Irish eyes on you. All the best.

Peter Grumbine said...

Paul, please let this be the last time you read my blog. I'm glad you were able to get a little traffic out of this, but quite frankly, I'm bored with you.

You seem to have personal issues and anger problems that extend beyond a few sentences I wrote. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with those. I'm sure it's hard to erase whatever has ruined you, but try not to take life so seriously, have a little fun, and don't spend your Friday nights feuding with a writer 5,000 miles away. I

It's around midnight your time, and you're worried about what's on my blog. Get your shit together, man.

Let me put this simply: don't read shit you don't like. Wipe your 80 proof tears from your eyes, gather your two belongings, and move on.

I'm sure you're very good at your job, and your mother loves you, so just try to focus on those strengths. Have a good life.

Peter Grumbine said...

Paul's last comment should be under this one. He said:

"Gladly, Peter. I'm out of here. I'll be watching though, keeping my beady little sleeveen Irish eyes on you. All the best."

So let's just leave him alone. I'm sure he's a great guy and just likes to shoot his mouth off, and who am I to complain about that?