“Um, okay, Mr. Leprechaun, for my first wish, I wish you’d put away that anal probe. How about that for a starter?”
This week, several UFO sightings have been reported in the UK and Ireland. To us Americans the difference between a UFO landing in England and Ireland may seem nil, but trust me, for the safety of the world, let’s hope they land in England first, because unless Bono is there to negotiate with the aliens, there will be all out, intergalactic war in a matter of seconds.
Don’t get me wrong, the Irish are lovely people, but they have a nasty habit of getting piss ass drunk, accusing you of calling them a thief, and then fighting your smallest friend. I’m not sure what the aliens’ intentions are, but I don’t want the first thing they hear to be, “Ye think yer better an’ me jus coz youz got a fancy flyin’ boat that floats up in the clouds?! Wha’s that? You call me a tief? I’ll kick yer lil bald cancer havin’ arse, you lil bug eyed shyte!”