Friday, October 3, 2008


Friday night at 8:07 PM EST, the UFO’s that have been hanging around the UK and Ireland touch down in America and begin searching for our leader.

However instead of asking one of us who our leader is, they do some research on their own. Unfortunately, they do that research on the Drudge Report, and they think Sarah Palin is in charge. Even worse, she thinks the aliens are Jesus.

“Why hello there little, bald, pasty, grey Jesuses!”

The Aliens take Palin up in their ship in a misguided attempt to get some information of the world.

“My oh my, Heaven sure is fancy! Lots of sparkly things! You Jesuses must be rich!”

“Okay, look over there. That’s Alaska right there. Notice all the sand and desert and people in beards and turbans. Oh golly! I think that might be Russia, not Alaska.”

“That giant pool of water next to America is called ‘Rand McNally.’ See, it’s right here on the mapper.”

“Oh jeez! Don’t go much further, little bald Jesuses, we’ll fall off the edge!”

“Oh no, is that big probe going to go in my boo-hoo? That sounds horrible. Just horrible. Look at my eye. I’m winking. Just horrible!”

“Give it to me good, tiny Jesuses!” 

Finally at 11:49 PM EST, after about 3 hours of violent probing, the Aliens determine there is no intelligent life on Earth, and they kill us all.

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