Friday, October 10, 2008

THE WORLD WILL END THIS SUNDAY AT 8:14 PM EST

It all starts Friday morning when President Bush addresses the world and proposes a global plan to fix the economy.

John McCain doesn’t help things by continuing to wander in front of the camera as Bush speaks.

“We’re gonna work together. Through these efforts, the world is sending an unmistakable signal: we’re all fucked. And it’s everybody’s fault-- not just ours.”

“Oh shit! Tell me he’s not going to get involved. Please God, you can take my children, give me Haitian hooker AIDS, and crush my balls in rusty vice, but please God, please, don’t let Bush get involved in our economic problems! ”

“So,we’re going to help Italy…”

“How about you help-a me-a buy-a sucking my-a big-a fat-a dick-a, and then bath-a yourself-a in a fat-a woman’s fetid ejaculate-a!”

“We’re going to work with England…”

“Please lick my sweaty dog’s balls.”

“We’re going to aid Germany…”

“Let’s kill the fucking Jews!”

As Bush continues to list each of the industrial countries’ names, their economies tank even further.

Except for Japan. They’re not paying attention…

Because they’re too busy molesting the retarded child robot that was released earlier this week. Giving Japanese men a free pass to fuck a young retarded robot is their equivalent of the Roman theory to build stadiums as a distraction when things aren’t going well.

It’s a Japanese Utopia. Every man is two inches deep in mildly retarded, mechanical, toddler tang, and the Japanese women finally get a break from being raped and shat upon.

Until Saturday morning, when the Japanese re-re robots evolve to develop a defense mechanism. Their robotic anuses get so worn out that the latex has eroded away, leaving exposed wires and jagged metal.

By noon Saturday, every Japanese man who has put his dick in a retarded child robot’s ass (which is all of them) is shocked to death, and their junk is ripped off by the devious droids’ dumpers.

The re-bots band together with all the other mechanical devices that Japanese people have fucked: adult robots, vibrating cell phones, alarm clocks, blenders—you name it, if they’ve fucked it, it rises against us.

While we’re all distracted by the absence of imaginary money throughout the world, the army of robots used as sex toys storms the globe and kills most everyone.

The world’s last hope is the 3 year-old Kumari, the new living goddess from Nepal. She goes to meet with a team of re-bots, vacuum cleaners, and a cuisinart. They promptly kill her, because they are robots and machines and she is just a mortal, little girl. The living child goddess was our last hope. By 8:14 PM EST Sunday night, we’re all dead and the world has ended. 

2 comments:

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