Tuesday, January 27, 2009

FUCK YOU GOD! SINCERELY, SCIENCE.

There aren't any photos of human octuplets on google image. That should tell you something.

A California woman gave birth to octuplets last night. The couple had been expecting seven babies, and was surprised when the eighth squirted out. Now, there are all sorts of grey areas surrounding drug-induced, mega-birth, pig litters, and it’s hard to definitively say how many kids are too many, but I think it’s safe to say, once you have lost track of how many people are growing inside your stomach, you’ve got a couple extra.

Some people get angry when a couple plays God and implants dozens of tadpoles inside a woman. But I think this kind of thing comes with it’s own punishment. I can’t even imagine the horrible screeching noise of 8 babies crying in unison as it reverberates and is amplified through that woman’s poor, cavernous vagina like a torn bass drum.

However, I do believe if God had intended us to have octuplets, he would have included the word in microsoft office’s spell-check.  

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