Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Can I get you some Neosporin for that eye? OH GOD! OH GOD! NO! Or maybe some barbeque sauce?”

There are several ways to determine if a person is mentally ill. One is to ask them if they ever gouged their eyeball from the socket and then ate it. A second way to find out if that person is crazy is to ask them if he also gouged out his other eyeball and ate it a few years previous. Then if you really want to dot your i’s and cross your t’s, you can ask him if he ever stabbed his wife, his 4 year-old son, and 13-month old daughter and then ripped their hearts out of their chest and put them in his pocket.

If somebody answers ‘yes’ to anyone of these questions: they are crazy. However, if a person answers ‘yes’ to all three questions, you’d have to think he is immediately in the top tier of bat-shit crazy. However, a Texas man who did all of these things was found mentally stable and an appeal court upheld his death sentence. I hate to think what you would have to do to be considered crazy in Texas-- besides drive a fuel efficient sedan. 

Then again, I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise coming from a state that executes retards primarily because of the sound they make when they pop.

No comments: