Monday, January 5, 2009

MORE WAR! PHLOG

Personally, I was surprised to see this war is continuing beyond the holiday programming schedule.

Even when they’re fighting a war, the Israelis just have to wear some ridiculous hat. 

According to the sign in the middle, Judaism is greater than or equal to Nazism. That's a pretty broad range.

This woman’s making a phone call as the medic carries here out of a rocket attack. Only in Israel.

The most elite branch of the Israeli Defense Force, working undercover as Mushmouth and Dumb Donald.

“We’ve only got time for three more rounds before our afternoon prayers—so make sure you hit a mosque or hospital.”

“Dear God, please help us reek vengeful destruction on our neighbors, and please shell their god too.”

"Eeww!.. Ahhh!"

But what if you were locked in a room alone with this kid and he kept bighting you and kicking you, how long are you going to brush him off before you punch him in the fucking balls and destroy his neighborhood? 

As if all this other shit wasn’t enough, now the Palestinians have to deal with poltergeist too.

You have to assume the Israelis are familiar with the tale of David and Goliath, but can they step back enough to see themselves recast in the story?

"Wait, Dad-- what do you mean this whole thing started when rockets landed down the street? No-- no I wouldn't know anything about that."

“Seriously? This is why I had to come back from Spain? Okay, just kill three, kiss mom, and you’ll be back in the discoteca in a week.”

“If Joshua isn’t back in five minutes, I’m just gonna smoke right here. I don’t give a shit. I need a fucking cigarette.”

After a long night on the Gaza strip, the Israelis are forced to stop and test their tank for gonorrhea.

That has to fuck with Palestinian kids-- the tank is wearing mouse ears.

"They took my rock collection, called it a “weapons cache” and then blew up our house."

Well, it must be hard on the Israeli kids too. I mean it is war after all—they’re kind of under attack. It’s not like they're just hanging out playing checkers and jumping on the bed all day in a fortified bomb shelter... oh, never mind.

The Christian nuns in Gaza wear helmets. Probably a good idea.

“Here, the engine’s dead. Pass it up to Israel.”

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