Thursday, January 15, 2009

'UNIVERSE IS HOLOGRAM' SAYS WEIRD REFLECTY GUY

If my entire life and world only exists as a hologram in this little girl’s mind, she’s got a really fucked up imagination.”

According to German scientists, our entire universe may merely be a 3D holographic reflection of a two dimensional world. Man, those krauts will say anything to get out of taking responsibly for the holocaust.

If we are in fact merely a reflection of another world (be it 3D or 2D), that means we’re not responsible for anything we do, in which case, I take back every apology I have ever made-- especially the one to that redneck high school that accused me of sexually harassing their volleyball line judges and misrepresenting Christ.  Suck my hairy Jesus balls, girls.

The idea of living a predestined life used to bother me and make me feel out of control. Now I’m fine with it. Whatever-- I’m just a 3D holographic representation of me reflecting off the plane of a two dimensional world light years away—now are you gonna give me back my car keys and that bottle of whiskey or are you going to arrest me, officer Dick Face?

Plus can you imagine how fake our economy is now that we don’t even exist in three dimensions? I mean the whole thing was just a bullshit, end-around, hoodwink to measure and belittle the value of your daily contributions to society based on how many people you can convince that you know what you’re doing and that you are actually doing it for several hours a day-- and that was in three dimensions. In 2D, you can’t even measure a stack of cash, much less the amount of pride you had to swallow and ass you had to kiss to get it. And if you can’t measure how much your job crushes you, how can society determine how much you’re worth?

A few other things I imagine would really loose their luster in 2D: boobs, “It Came from Outer Space,” and bowling.

Fuck this world. I’m gonna start smoking again, and if anyone complains, they can take it up with the 2D me across the universe.   

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